September 23, 2009

dying to know

dying to know
i can remember every word scrawled on past pages for you
thus, this is nothing but a reminder that, out there, bouncing all around the midnight father sky, this innate possibility IS small, but IS also beautiful.
small IS beautiful, you see.
and i, always claiming no knowledge spitting knowledge to the now kids who now kid with me of my knowledge, can't say i am above telling you of my father's jokes.
see, he made me smile today, and that can happen from time to time
when we, not bound by time, use timely wit about how no time is better than that no time
and someday, and this just a hunch, but someday, in this myth called time, they'll find my poems and wonder who you may have been. but you are you.
can't be no one else.
and the most random (things) come to me on 9/11. not just sheer happiness, i feel the wrong women and men died that day, what a crappy tragic false flag attack
as politikill as it gets
the sink says out of order

comes chaos
and dad can always make me laugh
math graphs of pre-acid trash pasts just don't add
up
and away went our freedumb
the isms is the enemies
i say
the isms is the enemies
and the TIMES is a, umm, changin?
still, we build skilled wills until all the shrill pills of swillville make us ill.
choking on chess sets of slit-throat pens
when
i say 'anything'
you say 'why'd he say anything?'

September 21, 2009

community

some thoughts on community and love and life
starts with this:
i probably know everyone who will ever read this. and i don't know why i started or what i will say. not a declaration, a manifesto, not even claiming to be a coherent thought in this entire blog. just stream of consciousness as anyone who knows me (or especially anyone who has gotten to know my not self) has gotten used to by now. or rather, in most cases, come to love about me. my motive is simply the fact that i haven't written any sort of non-art piece in quite sometime and i wanna shake some of the cobwebs out (or is it 'off', shit it's coming back to me how stressful writing for a non-audience can be at times).

ive been really taking a good, hard, long (yes!) look into my life and personal relationships lately, and this has brought me nothing but pure joy. like, really. that Ecstasy, the IS, the real shit. one concept i have certainly embraced, and i'm not sure the exact point in which i coerced it from someone else's mind or body of work, is the idea (uh-oh!) of full accountability and responsibility of my actions in a situation. another is the idea (OH SNAP!) of destruction of false ego and embracing what i (and i'm sure others, but fuck them) have been calling the not self. what i mean by false ego is conscious (or rather unconscious masked as conscious) action that may hurt a member of my community. what i mean by embracing the not self is simply said dismantling of that false ego and replacing it with conscious, autonomous action that benefits both my not self and my community. it is my humble opinion that these two concepts, when put into action with each other, and put into context of action by members of a community, bring about certain levels of happiness and changewecanbelievein(sic) unattainable in my adult life until now. in order to have proper context, i must now define what i mean when i say community. community, in this setting, will be defined as a group of people (3 or more) who love, care for and have vested interest, no, no scratch that . a community is defined as a group of people (3 or more) who love, care for, respect and take the action necessary to create a healthy environment (be it artistic, anarchic, living space, whatever) for one another.
in these communities, it has been my assertion all along, that we need (we need! we need!) a more pure, open communication with one another. open communication has rolled off of my lips hundreds of times in meetings, be it with one or all the members of my community. open communication takes work. it takes knowing each other very well, and being able to process when someone in the community has a change (of heart, of mind or of action). open communication allows for this constant change to occur, without too much judgment or nitpicking in the process. open communication allows for us to talk about whatever it is that is on our minds (joyful, painful and especially all that gray void in between the two) at whatever time it is needed (or possible). open communication can be secretive, but need not be kept from anyone (in the community) with a want-to-know, as it is open, and therefore not to be hidden forever. open communication is not necessarily always full disclosure, as this can create rifts in groups that will undergo so many little battles with one another that we need not divide on who i had sex with last month. and if we do need to talk about it, we can, openly, without judgment but in a solution-oriented way. open communication is not just an idea, it is an action. an action we are all capable of using, in full force against the status-quo-top-down-oppressive-authoritative-rich-white-male state and the minions doing the state's work for them (not just cops, but this plain-clothed being called a 'productive member of society). not an easy action to take. the first step necessary is an open mind. when we open our minds to the endless realms of endless possibilities we have as free people, we have one the first battle in the war waged on us by the powers that be. the next, immediate step, is to open our mouths when we have something to say. be empowered by your community. and empower others. always got a strong statement to say? maybe try shutting the fuck up (i need to follow this advice more often) and allow a friend to speak up on what they think. fell your not 'radical' enough to contribute? fuck that. neither am i. neither are they. otherwise, we'd be there already. the third step to work on is surely the hardest. DROP THE FUCKING EGOS. just drop the ego. image? weak. human drama? worse. no one likes any of these parts of our selves (including and especially the divine not self within us) that wears this and says that. eats this and drinks that. that's a consumerist mindset that will have to go sometime. 'but all humans consume!', says the false ego from the back of the room. yes, this is true. but what YOU personally consume need not be representing who YOU truly are. this all applies just as much to me as to anyone. that's what this is. some cleansing of ego. tap into that inner infinite. the IS. and this isn't just some metaphysical bullshit. get real. calling someone 'out' for what they 'really are' is just as much egoism needing to be dismantled as anything. don't like my suggestions? don't take them. already got it all figured out? good. great. grand wonderful. but let's all agree that egos have gotten in the way of our free ways than they've helped. this is not an excuse to freeload off of your friends. this is not to say i know shit about shit (although i do it enough with the crohn's that i probably SHOULD-- the worst word in the 'radical' community). this is to say we need to unite. as communities. large and small. throw theme-based parties and potlucks and put a smile on our faces. tell one another how much love there is in the room. stop just fucking joking comfortably about topics like sex and responsibility. but don't be afraid to joke and have fun. realize that with strong communities and affinity groups using open communication without ego, we can rage on this system of hate and oppression. kill the oppressor inside (ego) and direct the angst, madness and rage you've used in an argument with a friend against one of the many arms of this putrid state. don't fight globalization by yelling at a friend (or usually behind their backs) for shopping at this place or that, skillshare a different way or let them be. these tiny cracks are letting too much water in and some of us can't swim. don't just assume your community will float through this murky fucking swampwater. go on a metaphor a couple sentences too long. have some fucking fun with all this serious work. take into account, not just the class war, but the ongoing fights against racism, sexism and all the other isms. try not to use oppressive language, but don't be politically correct. smile. be in love. be loved. don't possess anyone. ever.
let's open our minds, our hearts and our communication, comrades.


love,

jake

September 15, 2009

i talk a lot of shit about not trying
but i still leave nervous messages for girls i am in love with
and there's just no way to quell that feeling i get
like i'm automatically assuming something that i wasn't assuming whatsoever
and maybe the reason i got that never-gonna-be-quite-enough complex
is that i'll never be quite enough
for me

here i thought emotions were laid to rest
there i swore i just wouldn't overreact
now i'm at least somewhat sure it was a misunderstanding

miss understanding ?

we'll see.

September 10, 2009

crooklyn

today i was offered 14 days in jail by the state.
that's just a true fucking statement.

September 9, 2009

2 dolla holla liner notes

!. (time) IS an illusion- the lied two ft. RDMB
@. 1 2 3 what are we fightin for?- dj deep breathely
#. city zen- garden plot jackals
$. gamblin pete- dj deep breathely
%. football (it's a party)- the lied two
^. machine of your mind- garden plot jackals
&. great ole rap hip-hop track- the lied two
*. off the deep end- garden plot jackals
(. end of rap (instrumental)- dj deep breathely
garden plot jackals IS cars culture, rev. dr. mason bilderberg & dj deep breathely
the lied two IS blasphemy, rikshaw & dj deep breathely
all tracks recorded in the basement, produced by dj deep breathely
www.barelyfree.blogspot.com www.casinotown.blogspot.com
www.myspace.com/theliedtwo www.myspace.com/kombuchaguru
read, write and revolt kids!- for shows contact openconsciousness@gmail.com